# 29/04/2005 @22:54:29 ^23:25:55

This is a file I found on my Risc PC. It's a newsgroup post I wrote at home and took in on a disk because I wanted to copy out a passage from a book. It shows how much I used to write like a dreadful faggot back then. Look at all these smileys and brackets and writing like a little twerp overly eager to please and be "precise" and not cause offence. I really have no idea why certain people say they preferred how I used to be.

As (sort of) promised on umc.2nd-years, here is the list of types of university mathematician. It is an extract from a book called "The Bluffer's Guide to Maths", written in about 1988 so clearly some of the stuff here is a little dated (e.g the references to Rubik's puzzles). Of course, I doubt if any of you fit these descriptions precisely; but this is clearly fuzzy (*), so just freely interpret :-) (or better still, attempt to pigeon hole your friends, and start a few arguments >:-) ) I should make it clear that 'oo' means infinity. (*) Hence these aren't equivalence classes at all, but the fuzzy equivalent (if there is one). It would be interesting to discuss the assertion that each mathematics student is some linear combination of these and only these classes, or whether another class is needed, whether the three classes are linearly independent, etc. and hence whether the set of university mathematics students form some kind of three dimensional vector space... Anyway, here it is, after what was probably a overly lengthy preamble. UNIVERSITY You will be expected to be something of a professional mathematician at university, and you should choose your image accordingly. There are three types of university mathematician which we will number 0, 1 and oo (the numbers 2 and 3 do not, of course, exist in university mathematics) TYPE 0 You are either very short or very tall with greasy hair. The only evidence for your existence is a huge list of books out of the library in your name and a stream of Bach playing in your room on a Sunday morning. You never indulge in any sports more strenuous than solving one of Rubik's puzzles, though you may well score for the university second cricket team and know all the team members' averages to four decimal places. You probably go on to do a PhD though you are not sure why. You have never had any sort of girlfriend or boyfriend. You hate drunken socialising in the company of people with whom you have nothing in common, and yet on graduating either become a don or an accountant. TYPE 1 The vast majority of mathematicians are type one. You wear steel-framed glasses, watch Dr. Who and Star Trek, and occasionally buy a new pair of jeans. You like mainstream rock and heavy metal and tend to drink too much at parties. Your boy/girlfriend is also a mathematician and you don't like admitting that you can't solve any of Rubik's puzzles. You put "I have a sense of humour" on your cv. If male, your name is Nick, Dave or Chris. You cannot be bothered to read any further than B in the careers manuals, so that after graduating you become an accountant, an actuary or a banker. TYPE oo A tiny fraction of mathematicians are the infinitely unpredictable class. You chose mathematics because you don't have to do essays, because you can't write. You are quick to point out that mathematics therefore takes the least time to do per week out of all subjects, because you can "either do it or you can't". Genuine type infinity mathematicians are never ever seen around college but play soccer and cricket for the university first team, have lost count of their girlfriends and boyfriends none of whom are anything to do with mathematics, are quite proud to tell you they neither know nor care who Rubik is, and on graduating become absolutely anything except an accountant, an actuary or a banker.

UGH UGH UGH. Well, there you go. I had the Risc PC on because I managed to force myself to make some more old tracks into MP3s. I'm not sure how well it has gone. They come out either distorted or too quiet. Hopefully no-one will notice too much. If you're wondering why I haven't released anything for ages, it's because I've been promising Elliot that I'd make him some CDs for *years* and it struck me that it's unfair to that promise if I undermine it by putting all the stuff on the internet first.

Also I know the tracklist doesn't have MP3 links on it, but in case you care you can go to the backup TROA site on dog to get them. Actually I've probably said this before and forgotten, but who cares.