29/04/2005 @22:54:29 ^23:25:55

This is a file I found on my Risc PC. It's a newsgroup post I wrote at home and took in on a disk because I wanted to copy out a passage from a book. It shows how much I used to write like a dreadful faggot back then. Look at all these smileys and brackets and writing like a little twerp overly eager to please and be "precise" and not cause offence. I really have no idea why certain people say they preferred how I used to be.

As (sort of) promised on umc.2nd-years, here is the list of types of
university mathematician. It is an extract from a book called "The
Bluffer's Guide to Maths", written in about 1988 so clearly some of the
stuff here is a little dated (e.g the references to Rubik's puzzles).

Of course, I doubt if any of you fit these descriptions precisely; but
this is clearly fuzzy (*), so just freely interpret :-) (or better still,
attempt to pigeon hole your friends, and start a few arguments >:-) )

I should make it clear that 'oo' means infinity.

(*) Hence these aren't equivalence classes at all, but the fuzzy
equivalent (if there is one). It would be interesting to discuss the
assertion that each mathematics student is some linear combination of
these and only these classes, or whether another class is needed, whether
the three classes are linearly independent, etc. and hence whether the set
of university mathematics students form some kind of three dimensional
vector space...

Anyway, here it is, after what was probably a overly lengthy preamble.


	You will be expected to be something of a professional
	mathematician at university, and you should choose your
	image accordingly. There are three types of university
	mathematician which we will number 0, 1 and oo (the
	numbers 2 and 3 do not, of course, exist in university
	You are either very short or very tall with greasy hair.
	The only evidence for your existence is a huge list of
	books out of the library in your name and a stream of
	Bach playing in your room on a Sunday morning. You never
	indulge in any sports more strenuous than solving one of
	Rubik's puzzles, though you may well score for the
	university second cricket team and know all the team
	members' averages to four decimal places. You probably
	go on to do a PhD though you are not sure why. You have
	never had any sort of girlfriend or boyfriend. You hate
	drunken socialising in the company of people with whom
	you have nothing in common, and yet on graduating either
	become a don or an accountant.
	The vast majority of mathematicians are type one. You
	wear steel-framed glasses, watch Dr. Who and Star Trek,
	and occasionally buy a new pair of jeans. You like
	mainstream rock and heavy metal and tend to drink too
	much at parties. Your boy/girlfriend is also a
	mathematician and you don't like admitting that you
	can't solve any of Rubik's puzzles. You put "I have a
	sense of humour" on your cv. If male, your name is Nick,
	Dave or Chris. You cannot be bothered to read any
	further than B in the careers manuals, so that after
	graduating you become an accountant, an actuary or a
	TYPE oo
	A tiny fraction of mathematicians are the infinitely
	unpredictable class. You chose mathematics because you
	don't have to do essays, because you can't write. You
	are quick to point out that mathematics therefore takes
	the least time to do per week out of all subjects,
	because you can "either do it or you can't".
	Genuine type infinity mathematicians are never ever seen
	around college but play soccer and cricket for the
	university first team, have lost count of their
	girlfriends and boyfriends none of whom are anything to
	do with mathematics, are quite proud to tell you they
	neither know nor care who Rubik is, and on graduating
	become absolutely anything except an accountant,
	an actuary or a banker.

UGH UGH UGH. Well, there you go. I had the Risc PC on because I managed to force myself to make some more old tracks into MP3s. I'm not sure how well it has gone. They come out either distorted or too quiet. Hopefully no-one will notice too much. If you're wondering why I haven't released anything for ages, it's because I've been promising Elliot that I'd make him some CDs for years and it struck me that it's unfair to that promise if I undermine it by putting all the stuff on the internet first.

Also I know the tracklist doesn't have MP3 links on it, but in case you care you can go to the backup TROA site on dog to get them. Actually I've probably said this before and forgotten, but who cares.