04/10/2003 @20:32:46 ^23:15:28

I'VE SEEN THINGS, I'VE SEEN THEM WITH MY EYES

scampi.swf is apparently the followup to badger.swf. I still think odd.swf is better than both of them but I haven't yet watched any of the others.

I'm just glad it wasn't raining

With one important exception week 3 of work in the academic office was much the same as week 2. Get pile of cheques, write them out onto payment sheets and enter them into the system. Check the stuff other people have put in is correct. Repeat.

The exception was Thursday afternoon. Due to the absence of another guy I was roped into delivering boxes of instructions for online module registration to departments all over main campus. Oh fun! Inaccessible buildings, heavy boxes and stone-faced deparmental secretaries galore!

• Having been a student doesn't necessarily mean you know campus well. I know the computer rooms, the library, and the locations of a number of lecture rooms. The undergraduate offices of nearly a dozen random departments were, as far as I was concerned, deep into "There be Dragons" territory.
• I'd go to three or four departments at a time, carting boxes on a two-wheeled L-shaped trolley. I gained a whole new appreciation for the difficulties faced by wheelchair users as it seemed every single route I took was blocked by steep stairs.
• I had to go into the physics department for the first time in over two years. I'd hoped never to have to go in there again but fortunately I didn't see anyone I knew, except possibly the people in their undergraduate office. I don't think they remembered me but certainly didn't look pleased to see me at all (but apparently physics hates the online registration scheme for some reason)
• When I finally found the correct office in the engineering department I explained what it was I was delivering and this guy says "why didn't they put the instructions online too?" I didn't have an answer, so all I did was laugh and say "good point". However later on after overhearing the amazingly pretentious conversation of some overdressed posers in the humanities department lift I realised that it was highly unlikely half the university would read any such instructions at all if all they were presented with was a URL.
• Finally it took me long enough to even find computer science as as it has moved since I last explored campus (the old building now occupied by a group I've heard described by staff as the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Yobs) When I finally did... oh man. It's like a fucking sewer round there. The only explanation I can think of that seems reasonable, given my experience of computer scientists, is that they all decided to shit themselves at once.
• Thanks to all the people who held doors open and whatnot for me though, even though they'll never read this

But I've been asked to go back for yet another week. Hopefully without the unexpected manual labour. Oh yeah, unless you absolutely have to I'd advise you to stay away from the office for a while because the queues outside are pretty long.

cousinishes

My cousin and her two sons came to my house last week. I haven't seen my cousinishes for a long time and how little we seem to have in common any more would sadden me if I didn't find horrible stereotypes so hilarious. The elder one is seventeen and a half and from his cap, tracksuit, signet rings and trainers (complete with those godsawful half-socks that end below the ankles) to his two-year smoking habit and mobile phone whose screen reads "Rach 4eva", he is about as townie as it is possible to be.

The younger one has just turned fourteen and is therefore even more mumblingly surly than he used to be and when he does open his mouth it's usually to insult you. It's a shame because I think he's pretty clever but suffers from the same low opinion of himself that's plagued me my whole life, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'd like to tell him to fucking stop it lest he find himself up shit creek one day but I have no idea how.

They both have ridiculously thick Coventry accents, which raised a peculiar issue for me because all of a sudden I found myself using longer words than usual, and pronouncing everything as correctly as I could. This was in contrast to how dumb I found myself trying to sound and how much of an accent I was putting on when I was going around with those boxes. I don't know why my brain would act differently in this way, especially since usually I wish I had a thick midlands accent of my own and didn't sound so much like a fucking ponce. I hate my voice.