10/11/2003 @20:02:13 ^21:13:28

take the red pill, find out how deep my rectum goes

Over the next couple of days we will be featuring, among other things, some of the stuff meant for yesterday's update. It was partially written but there wasn't time to finish it properly so I decided to split the thing up! Enjoy!

I fixed the internet!

Okay probably the most important thing from last week was my finding out that the acquisition of another network card has fixed my internet connection! As you probably know already it had a distressing tendency to freeze. Files would get to a point and then just stop and refuse to download further. I'd click on a page and half the images on it would fail to load. It was weird. My only theory was that something was corrupting my packets because I'd see lots of attempts to resend them via tcpdump.

Naturally I blamed this behaviour on NTL. Since the anniversary of the cable installation coming up and thus cancellation of the service would become possible, I was preparing for the hassle of trying to switch ISPs, having to work out how the hell ADSL is supposed to work, and how much expensive hardware I'd need to work it. But now I won't have to!

bonus rant

I wasn't supposed to have to do university cards again this week, but apparently the people who were didn't get their training session. Yeah, well, where the fuck was my "training session"? If I were a suspicious person I'd think this was deliberate because they know how shitty working the card machine is!

The printer didn't play up much today, only once when it refused to do anything more because it was feeling dirty. I fed it an "enema card", my horrible name for the strips of double-sided adhesive plastic which shut it up. On the other hand I will only know if I got all the barcodes and shit correct if noone comes back tomorrow going "my card doesn't work waaah I want to get into the library waaah" Yeah, like you really ever go in the library, you lazy cockwhores.

However I did find an enormous lump of blutack! I was in the toilets and there it was, just stuck to the top of the roll dispenser. What a find! I'm pretty sure it's not just a lump of turd that's changed colour through age; although I know your shits turn light blue if you leave them long enough, I also know they smell different.